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How We Feel Now
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George Edward Jenkins II


I must first say how lucky I am to have such a wise and wonderful husband, without him and my earthly children it would not be as easy to pick up and go on. It's been very hard to not be selfish right now or try to find someone or thing to blame for such a tragedy happening to us. Out of the many, many talks my husband and I have shared over the past week there has been one that has really stayed with me, been healing and made everything with no understanding a little better. We've always been spiritual Christian people, not very religious about going to church or taking part in other church traditions, but believed in God and the Bible. He reminded me the other night that God gave his only Son for people as unworthy and undeserving as us, surely we can give our son back to him, since he was never *really* ours to begin with. And because he gave his son, we will have a chance to be with our son again one day.

George has also told me the story of Job (book of Job in the Bible). We have also found comfort in it at this time. Job lost everything -his home, all his children, wealth, possesions, etc. even though he was a good man. The devil thought if God took everything from him but his life, he would curse God. Job never did, and in the end he was blessed 10 fold. We know there is a deeper meaning to all of this than we may ever understand, but hopefully we will take and make what we are supposed to from this and be better. We lost our home one month ago to bankruptcy and now we have lost our third child. May we not curse God or fall into the devils snares of blame and selfishness and prosper once more.

The days are getting easier, the tears a little less but there is still an empty feeling in my nest.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
 
July 2002: We are now 29 weeks pregnant with our fourth child and very active in our local church and RTS Bereavement Group. Our year of bad luck seems to be over (at least I hope so! :-) and hope I don't jinx it by writing that!) and we have had some tremendous blessings lately! It's hard to believe it's been almost a year now, I am beginning to plan his *birthday* cards I am going to send out and his ad I am going to run in the paper. We have had some real ups and downs these past 10-11 months. Time does seem to heal though and we still want to give God the Glory!
 
October 5 2002: George Edw. Jenkins II became a heavenly big brother, we welcomed Otto Matthew Jenkins to our family! He was a healthy VBAC! Praise God!    http://pages.ivillage.com/tarajill/ottomatthew/