Thoughts on Becoming a Mother
There are women that become mothers without effort, and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that
I will be better. I will be a better mother not because of genetics, or money or that I have read better books. But because
I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like
most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice
everything about my child. I will take the time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle
everyday for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing
that I can comfort, hold and feed and that I am not waking to give myself another injection of prophecy and cry tears of a
broken dream - my dream will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense, that God has given me this insight, this
special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I give birth to
or a child that God leads me to...... I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.................
I am a better Aunt, a better Wife, a better Daughter, Neighbor, Friend and Sister, because I have known pain, known disillusionment,
been betrayed by my own body, been tried by fire and a Hell many will luckily never face, and given time, I stood tall. So
now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and
join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense
power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they accept Harsh Truths, when Life is beyond hard.
A gift for you on Valentine's Day, What on earth could it be? I know the gift you really want, Is to once again have me.
Or perhaps the gift of understanding, To make sense of a senseless loss. I'm sorry, my dearest Daddy, But for those gifts,
you must talk to the boss. The gifts that I can give today, Are memories, both sad and sweet. From the touch of your hand
on Mummy's tummy, To my tiny little feet. Remember the joy you felt inside, When you found out you would be my Daddy? The
great big smiles upon your face, You were over the moon, you were so happy.
Remember when you felt me move, The wonder and love you'd feel? Remember it today Daddy, It just might help you heal. Remember
the little cuddles we had, And the moments that we shared. Remember my little nose, And the color of my hair, I love you dearest
Daddy, you know that this is true. Just keep your memories of me alive, And I will always live in you.
I know how much you love me
And I know how much you care.
I know that you're still wishing
That I could be down there.
I know this day is hard for you
And I know you'll probably cry.
And Jesus know you're hurting too
And He understands just why.
I wish that I could be there
To wipe away your tears.
But I'm up here with Jesus now
And in some future year,
We all will be together
And there will be no more tears.
And we'll get to know each other
Like we always wanted to.
But for now just know I love you
And Jesus loves you too.
My Father here in Heaven
Watches over me for you.
And He's sending someone to you
That I already know.
Someone you and Daddy can love
And touch and hold.
A little person bright and new
Whose life you two will mold.
So please remember Mommy
This new baby on your knee,
Is bringing to you from above
A little part of me.
Love, your little angel